Braless Festival

Hey, look – I don’t know, okay? I know a bunch of you are going to ask twelve thousand questions when you see this post, so let me head things off at the pass.

I do not know why all these women are dancing around.

I do not know where we an buy tickets to this nutso festival.

I don’t know why everyone’s nipples are poking out.

I don’t know if you can technically call those bras; I’m using my artistic license to say they qualify for inclusion here on everybody’s favorite website.

I don’t know what that might be in the crotch of the one lady’s shorts. It looks… mean, whatever it is. But much like an accident on the side of the road, or inadvertently surfing past WWE Smackdown, or semi-accidentally catching a glimpse of my neighbor changing clothes through the mostly closed blinds of her sunroom window, I can’t really seem to look away. I hear this humming in my ears, and most of my thoughts cease to exist when I lock in on that area. Kind of weird.