Jessica Simpson Runs it Off

Jessica Simpson knows her body, she has been staring at it in the mirror (and touching it, and feeling it, and maybe kissing it?) for the last 30 years or so. When people talk smack about her being too flabby when she gets up on the stage, I’m sure it hurts. She knows she is a round kinda gal. Obviously, this motivates her to get out and burn a few calories.

She is pretty tough. Despite the fact that she manages to make it look easy, look light on her feet, I know it isn’t easy to jog with girls like that in your sweater. I don’t personally have D-cups, but I have been blessed with abnormally large testicles. Any time I jog, they clank together, flop around, trip me, sometimes drag the ground. I’m very sympathetic to her plight. I would be happy to help her by holding them up while she runs.