Julianne Hough is known on some stages as one of the best ballroom dancers ever to boogie. She is known to some fans as a fantastic country singer. She is known in my pants as owner of the hottest, sexiest, most massively erotic blue eyes on planet earth. If you can for just one second get past the fact that her little b-cup boobies are sitting right there unsupported, uncupped, about to fall out of her cute little yellow dress which is slit damn near down to her knees, you will notice that her eyes are blue enough to freeze a glacier and awesome enough to prompt me to propose.
Yep, that’s right Julianne, it’s not your braless wantonness that inspires me to matrimonial lunacy, it’s those eyes that make me think of the Husky that bit my pinky toe off when I was eight years old. She is only 23 so really she’s too young to marry quite yet. I still have time to go out and get a degree in ophthalmology, and also a degree in dentistry, so that as I age and she ages right alongside me I can keep those perfect eyes and perfect teeth from degrading somehow and falling from the unattainable into the merely mortal category. Wow, imagine what she would look like in a halter top drinking a beer on the tailgate of my truck.