Eva Longoria Braless

Eva Longoria, who is no relation to the gigantic globes of Eva Amurri, is one hot little spanish looking dame. Eva is pretty, but bless her heart I don’t think she is very smart. The reason I say that is because she married an NBA point guard. Now we all know those NBA boys like to dip their stinger in every pot of honey they can find. Nobody can blame Tony Parker for slobbering on Eva, she is after all smoking hot. But for Eva to actually think Tony would keep pony in his pants is really dumb. Tony proceeded to do what he does, and when Eva discovered like five hundred text messages on his phone from some bimbo, she flew into a rage and divorced his ass. She makes like $13 million a year, so hey let’s not feel too sorry for her. She is 36, no spring chicken, but still young enough to have some perky, pointy little boobs. When she pops out of this limo and waves, she seems to be saying to me:

a) hi, please check out my boobies
b) I only have a few more years before my eggs stop dropping into my fallopian tubes. Since I’ve never had any children, my biochemistry is turning me into a stark-raving-mad hornball right now. If you don’t jump my bones, I will go hump that washing machine over there. Your choice.