Miley Cyrus Could Get Run Over Braless

It would really suck if Miley Cyrus got run over by a gigantic Ford pickup truck while sprinting braless across the street. We’re talking national tragedy here, quite a disaster. How sorry we would be after making fun of her for so long while drooling over her boobies and wishing she would accidentally bong herself senseless on the couch in our living rooms so we could do dirty things to her while humming Billyray Cyrus tunes. Even if that’s not your thing, when you look at Miley and you look at my mobile home, I know you start thinking the same thing. Anyway, in this case, she didn’t get run over. What did happen is her left boobie bounced up and knocked a tooth out, and her right boobie snuck right out of her loose-fitting top. Whereupon she grabbed it and stuffed it back in there, all while never braking stride. And what might she have been running after, you ask? Well, allow me to explain. There were giving away free oscar myer weenies, and Miley just couldn’t rest until she had one in her hand and one in her mouth. Also, she likes really creamy mayo, like dribbling off her chin and stuff. Wow, I have sunk to a new low.