Jessica Szohr

Jessica Szohr is a 27 year old actress who is smoking hot. She was born in Wisconsin. Now I don’t mean to offend all you cheeseheads, but Wisconsin and Minnesota and that whole area up there are known for producing babes. Maybe it’s the cold winters, or maybe it’s the genealogy, don’t ask me to be smart and figure it out, I’m just saying it’s rare to see a hottie claiming to have come from Wisconsin. But here’s the kicker, she descends from a pool of Hungarians and African-Americans. Maybe that explains it.

What is not explained, at all, is how she thinks she can wear this dress and not rock me out of my mind. Hungarian girls like Ms. Szohr can occasionally forget to do the feminine grooming if you know what I mean. Hopefully since Jessica is a Hollywood star and all she doesn’t let that big giant black brush get out of control. You don’t have to worry at all, even though those boobies are young and perky now, they won’t dilapidate and sag with age cuz they’re b-cups. Should be good for at least 50 years, and you’ll be dead by then, dropped into an early grave after humping her four times a day and exhausting your poor heart.