Jordan Carver Haz Gotta Marry Me

I caint wait much longer. Jordan Carver gotsta marry me right away. With my incredibly virile body, I am afraid to have premarital sex with Jordan because she would likely become pregnant. Even if I were to wear a full body condom like Leslie and Priscilla in that one movie, a few million of my swimmies would get out and she would immediately start growing a beach ball in her tummy. Shoot, even cats walking along the fence outside aren’t truly safe when I get turned on and start launching. There is only one person in the world who can get ladies more pregnant through more barriers, and that’s Chuck Norris. And he only allows himself to BLAM! one time per year, so there’s much less risk.

Anywho, Jordan is lookin fine. A girl with her body type tends to be kinda endomorphic and prone to putting a little weight on. But as you can see, she is staying skinny and really looking forward to squeezing into that wedding dress and sashaying down the aisle with yours truly.

Speaking of Chuck, I need to give him a ring and ask him to teach me a few karate moves. You see, once Jordan and I are married, I will have to fend off all you other horny jackals to keep her allll mine.

Not a bad underboob shot huh?