5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Go Braless

[Note: Yes, I’m a dirty pervert, but somehow I still manage to have/keep a few female friends. They must be very generous of heart, and accepting of mankind’s limitations, otherwise who can explain the fact that they haven’t tossed me out like last week’s garbage. I asked Mariah, a gorgeous busty friend to provide us with a scintillating guest post. Lord knows ya’ll don’t want to hear from me any more than ya’ have to. So enjoy.]

Damn, I hate wearing a bra. Aside from the decorative and erotic aspects I mean. A bra does wonders for squeezing together a little cleavage, for a little lift and padding. In my particular case, I avoid padding because my boobs are big-damn-enough as it is, but I know some gals are incredibly self-conscious of their breast size and wouldn’t be caught dead without a bunch of padding. Most guys just don’t realize how uncomfortable bras are. They pinch, they chafe, they squeeze. All that lace that looks so hot? Yeah well it’s also itchy. Think you are super-hot standing around in the summer sun waiting for that cab? Try doing it in a bra that’s like a horse blanket trying to smother you. At the end of the day, when I burst through the door and arrive home, literally the first thing I do every single time is rip my bra off. Half the time, when I’m running around in a frenzy trying to get ready for work, I’m not fishing bras out of a drawer in my bedroom – instead, I’m grabbing them off the floor in the foyer near the front door.

Despite the allure of doing daily duties braless, I’ve found numerous reasons to keep those girls strapped down. Part of it is my large d-cup boobs. Gals with smaller boobs will probably have fewer problems. But I think if you read the list below, you’ll find that regardless of boobie size, it’s not always practical to go braless.

1) Cold Nipples
It’s hard (pun intended) to be discrete about your bralessness if your nipples are hard as a rock and you’re about to poke somebody’s eyes out. Even in the summertime or in a warm room, at least for me it’s not that hard to catch a brief chill, and my nipples seem to always be the first thermometer to register the temperature change. Certain garments or even scarves can hide this occasional embarrassment, but eventually you will be caught red-handed.

2) Too Much Jiggle and Wiggle
We are a civilized society. I don’t have to dash to safety to escape meat-eating terrors. I don’t have to fjord streams or swing from vines. I sit at a desk all day, for heaven’s sake. But you’d be surprised how little movement sets my big boobs swaying and bouncing when I’m not wearing a bra. Going down steps makes things crazy. Changing direction suddenly to hold the door for the lady behind me causes boobie-whiplash. Sit down in a chair or on a bench too hard, and the girls can literally smack and slap. Anybody with boobs bigger than maybe A-cups is going to have this problem, and it can suck.

3) Such a Pain
Not only can that jiggle and wiggle be distracting, it can be downright painful if there’s prolonged friction. Pretty much every gal’s nipples are sensitive, and if you’ve never had a little carpet burn on your nipples, you probably can’t imagine how eager we are to avoid it. I wore a button-up blouse the other day that had a breast pocket on one side. I did not wear a bra (big mistake). The stitching on that pocket rubbed my nipple raw within about thirty minutes. I actually borrowed a bandaid from one of the other girls at work, and went into the bathroom and taped my nipple. Dang, it hurt! One of my girlfriends had too much to drink one time and was complaining to me about nipple callouses. She felt like she had worn her nipples so much they were growing callouses, um which is pretty gross now that I think about it.

4) D-listed
Even though it’s 2015, yes some people will still judge you for not wearing a bra. What will they think about you? Who the hell knows, maybe they think you’re a floosey or a slut. Maybe they think you are doing it just to get attention, or that you weren’t raised right. Men think it’s an open invitation to stare, while other women probably wouldn’t judge so harshly except they *are* wearing bras and that makes them uncomfortable and bitchy and judgmental! Some of you may think “who cares” and maybe you’re right. I’m just

pointing out that it’s likely some folks are going to interpret your bralessness as some kind of lack of character.

5) Oops
It’s inevitable – if you go braless often enough, you are going to accidentally flash somebody. Period. You might keep even the top button buttoned. You might be super-careful, and demurely hold your shirt to your chest every time you lean over. Even if you are 100% careful and 100% sure you managed the difficult task, I promise you are going to flash somebody. Men L-O-V-E this. It’s like a cat and mouse game, if they don’t think your’e wearing a bra, they will do anything in their power to get a look down your shirt. In that way, the odds stack up against you. You’ll be distracted, you won’t think anybody is looking, and BAM somebody is going to get an eyefull of your nips. And maybe that doesn’t matter to you, maybe you don’t really care. More power to you. I’m just pointing it out so that you don’t fool yourself. It WILL happen, folks WILL see, so stop pretending they won’t.