Airplane Pokies Drive Me Bonkers

It always seems to happen. Every time I climb on an airplane, there’s some hot little Miss who takes great pride in showing off to every testosterone-filled dude in range of her pheromones. Sometimes it’s the stewardesses. Or do they call them flight attendants these days? I have actually noticed that the flight attendants have started getting a little chunkier these days. You would think the airlines would put the KI-bash on that, since every pound they have to keep airborne costs them more fuel. But if you’re a hottie, you’re a hottie – regardless of a few rolls around the middle.

What is it about chicks who are travelling that makes them think they just HAVE to wear stretchy yoga pants and no bra? They feel entitled to be super-comfortable? What if I felt the same sense of entitlement, and wore my shorty-shorts and my Reebok tanktop from 1989? Nobody would win, trust me. I’m not complainin’ though, cause errrbody wins with airplane pokies. Yes, they are distracting. Yes, you are a prisoner in an aluminum tube, and you cannot look away. Yes, she is playing you and wants you to pay attention to her, just not in a creepy way. Is it possible to notice a gal’s nipples poking out of her shirt without being a creep?

This gal looks like she is seriously enjoying rocking the nips. She will of course toss those pink Beats headphones on and rock out to her Top 40 or whateverthehell. Right after she gets done laughing at the dude just to her left who is pretending to sleep but can’t stop thinking about that braless white tanktop. Also, she needs to thoroughly inspect her teal (?) fingernails, and tell her hairy-wristed boyfriend sitting next to her thanks for the first-class tickets getting the hell out of Atlanta. I think she may be wearing a jacket and possibly a scarf, suggesting she has unzipped all the way to really punish all the horny dudes around her.

I describe another airport experience here…

Occasionally I run across a gal who is hot by psycho. What am I saying, all hot chicks are psycho. But you know what I’m saying, you can look at her face and you know instantly – oh my, she would get you fired, make your momma mad at you, piss on your bed and light it on fire, and then cackle wildly like a witch. Here ya go, this is one of them. Her boobs are droopy, yes. But they are also, hmm how should I say… tubular? Don’t matter, those nips are gonna get you going. They will bounce around, and the next thing you know you’re a gonner. Too bad she’s cray-cray and will stab you with Santa Claus scissors after you fall asleep. Look at her face really close; does she kind of remind you of the Joker? Even a little bit?

Dimples and cleavage. That’s certainly a great title for another esoteric BralessBlog article, too bad I’ve already committed myself to the whole plane pokey thing. This gal has some cute dimples and some tantalizing cleavage. My lord, those milky white boobies could keep you entertained for days couldn’t they?? I know it makes me sound like an old fogie, but I don’t like the whole nose jewelry thing. I know, I know – the women these days have to show a little non-conformance, a little edge, get all tatted up or nose-ringed out. Call me old-fashioned. Just don’t call me ignorant, cause I’m not saying I wouldn’t introduce her to my medium-sized friend.

Hellooooo fuzzy braless girl. Is that cashmere? That fuzzy yellow thing wrapped around her succulent braless boobies really makes me want to do the happy dance. The whole mirror selfie thing can mess you up, hard to tell right-hand from left-hand. But it sort of looks like she has a weird wedding ring on. I’m going to forgive her for the little pooch at her tummy, and for the crazy duck lips, but I have to stop and question a) the similarly fuzzy footstool (is that for tickling your tush?), and b) what appears to be a bra hanging in a picture frame on her wall. I would very much like to motorboat those bewbs, and afterwards prowl around her house and see what other perverted stuff she has hanging on the walls.