Braless Blog

Ho Ho Ho, merry Christmas.

I was trying to think of a Christmas-themed post for today. In years past, I sort of sucked at it. I was apparently semi-focused on downblouse activities.

I centered on the Elf movie, you know the one with Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel. So I searched BralessBlog to see if I had posted anything about Zooey before. And lo and behold, I discovered this post about Emily Deschanel. I would’ve sworn I had never heard of Emily before, but I guess the post proves me wrong. I’ll point out that it was from 2007, going on 17 years ago.

Obviously, BralessBlog is a labor of love. I’ve been perving it up for decades, people!

Anyway, getting back to Zooey’s boobs. They are unfortunately on the small side. Not like the massive bazongas I sometimes discuss. But that’s okay, all boobs are beautiful, and Zooey is smoking hot anyway.

This see-through pic is of interest.

Somehow Zooey always seems a little goofy and innocent. To see her rocking this see-through bustier is a little shocking. It makes me think she could probably spread her legs and show you her panties, but then make a face and stick out her tongue and pretend that she just ate some sour candy, in the most unsexy way possible.

It’s nice to stumble across some photos of her cleavage.

A push-up bra can do cool things, even for b-cups.

She draped herself with this red satin dress and then squeezed those boobies up so high with her push-up bra that they started begging for mercy.

I was hopeful but not confident in finding some oops moments, maybe a nipslip.

But alas, Zooey does a fair job of keeping those girls undercover.

If you hold your tongue just right and try to get a good angle on this photo, you can sort of see a bit more of her pretty, pale boobies than she intended. But no nipple.

And of course I strained myself to the point of exhaustion looking for some pokies. The best I could do was the hint of her nipples underneath the blue material of this dress.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that Zooey looks like a dead ringer for Katy Perry, except with half-sized boobs. I swear those two could be twins.

Terrible oversight that I’ve never covered this cute little blond thang. With no further ado… the Top 9:

1) Sydney’s boobies are big and natural.

My god, those titties are enough to make me light-headed and marriage-minded.

Common debate on the interwebz says she is a 32DD cup size. Some perverts even went so far as to zoom in during a lingerie shoot and scope out the tag on her bra.

She might be on the larger side, say a 32E, but regardless, they are big and yummy.

In some photos (not posted here, haha), they seem smaller. But as we’ve discussed before here on BralessBlog, that’s how natural boobs work. They can be squished around, and in some cases flattened out and hidden under various clothing.

2) She doesn’t mind going topless.

She’s done some nude scenes in Euphoria, and also in The Voyeurs.

When she gets topless in front of the camera, the world slows down a little on its axis, and every straight guy in the Northern Hemisphere holds his breath.

3) She has daddy issues.

It turns out Sydney is engaged to this guy who is thirteen years older. She is 26 right now, so that makes him 39.

Look, we all know that’s not going to work. As she gets older and wiser, she’ll work through her psyche issues. At the same time, he’ll start getting gray hair, and jelly rolls, and his johnson will give him trouble. Then she’ll dump him for a Hollywood heartthrob.

In the meantime, I’m putting my application in.

We all know why he’s dating her. And we can’t blame him. Motorboat those things while you still can, my good man.

4) Her nipples are insanely perfect.

Like I mentioned, she’s done nudes, and there have been some leaks too.

So I’m intimately familiar with her nipples. Like studying them and writing theses and getting a PhD expert here.

They are big and pink. They are generally soft and rounded, but they can get hard as a rock and so pointy they are like weapons.

I would propose to her nipples. Can I just marry her boobs, is that a thing? Maybe in Vegas, I’ll have to google that.

Her pokies are goddam epic.

5) She is trained in MMA.

Sydney says she started training in mixed martial arts when she was 14 years old.

She is an expert grappler. We’ve covered VanZant, Ebanie, and Gina.

The cool thing is there aren’t many female jiu jitsu practitioners. So when she grapples, Sydney is undoubtedly rolling around on the mat with guys. I’m sure she has those boobies squashed down in a sportsbra, and a gi on top of that, but damn what a dream.

6) She is a skinny thang.

I don’t mind curvy women, I ain’t saying that. But Sydney is like all tits.

Katy Perry can be a bit of a chunk. Hot, but not tiny. She’s what, 5’8″?

Meanwhile, here’s Sydney and she’s 5’3 and probably weighs 100 lbs and about 50 of that is boobs.

Sydney works out a lot. I’ve noticed her legs in particular are fabulous. Her weight goes up and down, like all women, but she is not afraid to rock the flat abs.

7) She likes oral.

Okay, I threw this in just to see if you were paying attention.

I have seen numerous photos of her licking ice cream or farting around with her friends in the car with her tongue sticking out.

Maybe that’s just immaturity, or maybe that is an oral fixation.

I hope to find out after she marries me.

Roping this in to our boob motif, if she does the oral thing with shelf boobies like that, the view has got to be other-worldly.

8) She’s rich.

We can assume she’s worth somewhere between $5 and $10 million these days.

So she can afford all the low-cut designer dresses, the lingerie, the kinky latex tops. She can keep those boobs up, if they start to droop too much get some work done.

I’ve always needed a sugar mamma with nice boobs. Sydney is now my main squeeze.

9) She looks amazing in a bikini.

I stuck these candid bikini photos of Sydney in here because, well I’m a pervert, and I look creeping up on the ladeez.

She looks hot, and those pokey nipples get me going. As does the semi-thong in the back, right between her butt cheeks.

Her crotch is certainly of interest, but it doesn’t have me trippin like Giada’s. At least not yet. Let her put some more mileage on it.