The Hardbody Edition

I realize that fit chicks aren’t everybody’s cup of tea. Some folks like their women a little softer. News flash: don’t take this the wrong way but if I write the posts I get to choose the topics! So if I have a hankerin for veiny gals today, so be it.

And I do! So prepare yourself.

We should probably start off with crossfit pokies. Unlike ultramarathons or balet, crossfit tends to turn bodies into living breathing sculptures. I don’t own a TV since my doublewide trailer didn’t come with one standard, but I’ve heard crosfit is really popular to watch on TV. Or on youtube, whatever the heck that is.

crossfit pokies 1I’m convinced dudes don’t watch crossfit because of the competition, it’s because of these smoking hot chicks. Here is one example. Not an ounce of at on her, she’s flipping around on this chinup bar like gravity no longer applies. If I even managed to jump up there, it would probably rip my chubby little fingers out of joint. She’s in her skimply little sportsbra, with her perky little pokies jumping around. And those shorts, don’t get me started on the shorts. I’m sure her butt isn’t like flat; probably looks like two delicious yummies are stuffed in there.

crossfit pokies 2I have seen this chick on youtube before, but I don’t remember her name. I will eventually get around to including some videos I have of her in one of my compilations, and I’ll try to remember to come back and update this page when I do (stay tuned). Funny thing, in her early videos from a few years ago, she had little bewbz. A year or two ago, she magically sprouted these very circular golden orbs. Noooot that I’m complaining. She stomps around in her backyard throwing very heavy barbells around, all the while trying to keep those new DD’s from booming out of her top. Damn good thing her property has a fence around it, otherwise all the boys in the neighborhood would be stopping by for a milkshake.

crossfit pokies 3Okay, see all those red weights? What, you don’t? Oh, excuse me, I need to give you a minute to get un-lost from this gal’s maddeningly delicious cleavage. It’s like falling into a black hole with lots of gravity, isn’t it? The fact that she’s straining and making an ugly face and sweaty and stinky: don’t matter. We’re dudes, and we gotta get up in da’ cleavage. Anyway, those red weights are approximately equal to three elephants. The fact that she can shove them across a floor for half a mile without giving herself a hernia, peeing in her pants, or growing armpit hair is kinda unbelievable. The only way I could slide that sled is if somebody hooked it up to the back of my redneck truck. And even then, 50/50 that it would jerk my rusty bumper off.

crossfit pokies 5This is a little fuzzy, but the shot make the cut because of those abs. And yeah, you have to tip your hat to the nearly transparent sports bra full of pokies. But dang, those abs. When she sneezes, her abs are so tight you could probably drop an ice cube down her shirt and it would sound like a xylophone. That may have happened considering how cold those little nips look. Does she eat nails and maybe a piece of celery for breakfast every morning? Slightly different than sayyyy pop-tarts, course you can actually see her abs.

crossfit pokies 5This training session is like a road construction project – there are more people watching than there are working. I’d be watching too, very closely, if this little hottie was doing something with that big ball right in front of me. Do you think she even has a bra on? Hard to tell, what with the white shirt and the Mt. Vesuvius pokies. Her legs and arms look strong enough to turn me into a very horny unsalted pretzel. Her skin color is a bit dark, and it makes me wonder if she has tanlines. Hubba-hubba, toss that ball and let me get a look at your crotchola please, I’m getting overheated.

crossfit pokies 6This girl looks fast, doesn’t she? I bet she would flex those long, lean, tan legs, and she would be gone in a flash of pigtails, womansweat, and a flash of nip. Forget running, what she’s about to do is show that barbell who the boss is. Grab it, flip it over her head squat down, spread her legs… and I’ll stop right there. If the world was just, you and I would be sitting here looking at her squatted down with her tender thighbone exposed for the world to see with her frozen nipples clinched up. Did I mention she has blue eyes? I might be in love/lust.

crossfit pokies 7I’m kind wanting to stop, but I can’t. Does this suggest addiction? Too damn late to worry about that. Let’s discuss just one more crossfit goddess. You know, it’s the imperfections that keep me looking longer. See the kinda goopy deodorant caked underneath her underarms? Hey man, that’s just real life. She is out there working hard, with her gigantic boobies squashed into that tanktop. She’s sweaty, it’s a bad hair day, most of the F’ing United States is watching a broadcast of her nipples, and all she wants is that plastic trophy. I heart you girl, I really do. I’d help you pull that whatchamacallit down, or whatever you’re doing, cause I’m here to help. I mean ogle. Well, both, if you so choose.

I looked all over the site, and didn’t see any previous crossfit posts. This post about the tough mudder from about a year ago is the closest thing I could find.

Sometimes Amanda gets sweaty too.

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Maitland Ward Baxter

Mark, one of our readers, was kind enough to contact me recently and point out that the boobylicious gal in the last photo of this post
http://www.bralessblog.com/2017/07/16/massive-sideboob-and-other-perverted-phenomena.html
is actually Maitland Ward Baxter.

I had never heard of her before, so I internet stalked searched her out to see what’s what. She is not a young buck – she was born in 77 which makes her 40 years old these days. She did some soap operas and some TV shows. But it was after she retired from acting and started doing cosplay stuff that she blew up the internet. Like literally, they had to call Al Gore to try and troubleshoot the shit, boom went the WWW.

Maitland Ward BaxterYou and I are not dummies, and we can guess the primary reason for her popularity. Actually reasons: plural. Two words. Mamm-aries.

She tends to push the limits. Acting wasn’t enough, so she started dressing up in semi-trashy comic outfits, not wearing a bra so her bewbz would drive dudes crazy. Then she had to take it a step further, and she started showing up naked, except for body paint. Some women can get away with body paint, but they tend to be on the skinny side. Not that Maitland is fat, she is damn curvy. Things move around when she walks, know what I mean?

So imagine being a geeky dude at a comicon event, and in walks this busty, famous actress and she’s nekkid except for a thin layer of paint. Yes, you would probably make squeaky noises in the back of your throat, and crush on her so bad you would embarrass yourself.

She married a real estate agent awhile back. Really? I was thinking maybe a Saudi oil tycoon or something. How can a real estate agent keep up with this level of cougar hotness? Maybe he as a big (bank account).

She is always posting up photos and video clips on social media of her cleavage. Literally, it’s like her main focus. What must her husband think of that? Is he proud, like yo that’s my hot mamma! Or does he feel threatened that several hundred thousand horny dudes are ogling her goodies? And you know what those some of those comic conventions must be like. Some dude bumping into her from the back – oh excuse me babe I didn’t see your curvy ass there.Maitland Ward in fishnet

She has this frizzy-hair, puppy-dog eye thing going on that I found very attractive. I actually looked up her measurements. When you’re an expert like me, you can call this research rather than stalking. I wanted to know how tall Maitland is, because when I fixate on someone it’s apparently important that they be somewhat petite rather than amazonian. She is 5’10” which is frankly just too tall for me. They list her as either a 32 or a 36D, and I’m not so sure that’s accurate. Those girlies look like they are at least DD to me. Who do you believe,
a) some random internet site
b) some bralessblog guy who has never seen Maitland in person but has been evaluating boobies for many years?

Anyway, enjoy these photos of Maitland, and if you want me to “cover” her again in the future, feel free to contact me or leave me a comment.

PS – thanks Mark!

I recently update the post with a few more photos of Maitland. Lord, does she enjoy showing off! Admittedly, the photos I added from a few years ago show her looking a bit different. Um, how should I put this. Less curvy. Less, ahhh, pudgy. But still, we love her regardless.

I could also mention that as of May 16, 2018 Maitland had 186k followers on her instagram account

Update:
I can’t help but add this pic, something about that smirk…

Posted in Braless Celebrities | Leave a comment

Braless Experience

Although it’s been a while, I occasionally have guest posters. In this case, Barbara has submitted a lengthy story that seemed somewhat appropriate for the site. I hope you enjoy!
****

Exactly two months after my mother’s death I found the locket she gave me on my eighteenth birthday. A trinket that has been lost for eight months. I misplaced it on the day I started my second year in college and gave up searching for it after two months.
But now, as I sit on the floor of my college dorm room, I burst into tears holding the locket between shaking fingers as the memories flood my mind and it feels like a punch to the gut.

“Your mother has terminal breast cancer. It is very unlikely that she will recover, she should get her affairs in order,” the Doctor puts a sympathetic hand on my shoulder before leaving the room.
I look towards my mom’s sleeping form, the tubes and the machines hurting me deeply. It’s very hard to look at the woman who gave you life as she is losing her own. It’s taking all of my will power not to burst into tears and scream about how unfair the whole situation is. I just can’t figure it out; how could she be healthy as a horse and then all of a sudden on her death bed?
It’s so messed up.

I sniffle after a long cry, wipe the tears from my face and fasten the locket around my neck. I always think my grief has subsided until I’m reminded of her, then I feel empty again. It’s been a long time since I genuinely smiled or laughed so hard my muscles hurt. I have been feeling so lost and I don’t know when I’ll find myself again, but I’m hoping it is soon because depression is exhausting.
I wash my face in the bathroom sink and inhale deeply a few times before returning to my bed to do some studying. I have a test in two classes this week and a falling math grade to pull up.
However, it isn’t long after I crack open my textbook that my roommate and best friend of eight years comes running into the room, huffing and puffing.

The blonde’s normally immaculate appearance is in disarray and I can see splotchy red marks on her neck. Her shirt is inside out and backwards and she is carrying her heels.
Someone was visiting the fraternity this afternoon, I snicker to myself.

“How was your day?” I ask her, closing my textbook and swinging my legs over the edge of my bed.
She sets her shoes down in the corner. “I have to tell you something, I just don’t want you to think poorly of me for bringing it up,”
I look into her slanted brown eyes, wide with worry and excitement. “Go on,”

“I know you have been sad since your mom passed away,” she sits down next to me and grabs my hands. “And I think you should do something important to honor her memory, something to raise awareness for breast cancer and those who don’t win the fight against it,”
I desperately try not to let the heartbreak show. The crumbling feeling in the pit of my stomach makes me want to vomit. This topic is so touchy…
But, regardless, I encourage her to continue. “Like what?”

“There is this challenge going around campus, and the internet, called the Bra-less experience. Women go a week without their bra, spreading awareness online and in their everyday lives, plus there is a donation page to link to online,” she smiles at me, unsure.
I look at her, thinking deeply about the challenge. Part of me wants to say no because it won’t bring my mom back, but part of me wants to say yes because I want to help raise money for research. I have been feeling lost and helpless about this whole situation, and maybe doing a sort of charity work will help me feel better. Continue reading

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November Blah’s

Yeah, it’s November, and I feel blah. Not sure why, maybe it’s less sunlight and not enough Vitamin D. Or just never getting laid.

One sure pick-me-up: breastacles.

Yep, numerous health benefits, including lowering my blood pressure and pepping me right up. I’ve tried to hit a few different topics lately, with some celeb stuff and some serious video action. But allow me to pick through my (alarmingly large) collection of hottie photos and describe in detail just what they are doing to me.

seatbelt boobiesSometimes it’s hard not to stare. Like when you climb into a girl’s car, and she’s busty, and she has on a white top with no bra, and her seatbelt is carving her boobies up and making her nips poke out. My advice to you: just think about baseball. Certainly you should *not* think about her boobs bouncing around every time she hits a pothole. Or you’re gonna end up with a woodrow in your britches.

white pokiesI don’t know what’s more erotic here, that bathingsuit full of boobies, or the way those hips and that crotch are popping out and grabbing my eyeballs. If we sit here and wait long enough, entropy will drag that zipper down tooth by tooth until her melons are approaching the very zenith of exposure. We might all be dead by then, but dang we can hope. The way those girls are all squashed in there, I’m kinda daydreaming that they are natural, but I shouldn’t jump to conclusions.

closet pokiesWe should probably insist that a new movie come out this year around Christmas. Screw the next Star Wars installment, this one would be Closet Pokies. It would be a documentary style flic that follows gals around showing off their busts in absurdly packed closets. It would be a little like a cross between MTV Cribs and Wives of Orange County. This nipplish young lady is getting a head start – getting some practice in before casting starts. She has some little brown raisins under there that I would love to snack on.

store pokiesAnother piece of advice for you, bro. Stop screwing around, wasting your money and tainting your liver in bars. The *new* place to pick up chicks is in the greeting card aisle. See this chick? Yep, she’s picking out a card for her dad. She has daddy issues, and you very much need to help her with them. It’s possible she has a bra on, which is antithetical to the bralessblog way. I can kinda see something through that v-neck shirt. But who cares, those nipples are just tantalizing. I think she may have a small bottle of mouthwash in her other hand. All the more reason to plant one on her lips, my friend.

You may remember that last November we covered a topic that is quite rare in the bralessworld: elephants. Yeah, I suspect that isn’t something that’s gonna come up on a routine basis! If I got back to November of 2014, I see we have a thoroughly enjoyable video in the wayback machine. God bless and keep slowmo.

Posted in Amateur Pokies | Leave a comment