Christina Applegate Tits Are Sleepless and Bouncy

Yes, Christina Applegate just turned 45. So what. A few wrinkles here and there, maybe the tiniest bit of sag. She is still a goddess.
And you would think so too, if you grew up watching her do Kelly Bundy on Married with Children. She started that back in 1987, so she was fifteen years old. And playing the ditzy blonde slut certainly resonated with those of us infused with giant bricks of testosterone.
Did we sit in front of our televisions hoping for a glimpse of nipple? Oh yes, we most certainly did.

Hey man, in the 80’s and 90’s if you wanted nekkid girls you didn’t just open up a browser and google your way into fantasy-land. There were Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogues, there were MTV videos, and there were the blonde locks and the bouncy boobies of Ms Bundy to think on.
Hey, if I was producing Married With Children, I certainly would’ve leveraged Applegates tits and put her in tanktops, short skirts, and freezing temps. I don’t know what percentage of viewers were guys, but every single one of them wanted to see Peg and Kelly boobs!

Christina did an interview recently where she talked about her struggles with insomnia. She says she only averages about three hours of sleep per night. You know what she needs? An orgasm.

Huffington Post published an article a few years ago that cited a study saying 30% of US women masturbate to help them get to sleep. I would find the article and give you the link, but I’m a lazy pervert.

In my infinite chivalry, I would be happy to facilitate Christina’s deep sleep REM cycle with one, two, mmmm maybe three orgasms. I feel very “up” to the task.

Seriously though, I can’t imagine what it would feel like to average three hours of sleep for years on end. I’d feel like a zombie. She’s married and has one kid. Who can function sexually if you feel like the walking dead? I’m surprised her husband gets any at all, they gotta be headed for divorce.

She is on her second marriage. Now that I’m thinking about it, I think I could make a great marriage counselor for girls like Christina Applegate. I’m not talking about forty-five year olds, I’m talking about hot girls in general. I could help them out with a few orgasms here and there, and the tremendous sense of relief and well-being bestowed upon them would make them happier, less prone to depression, and more likeable by their husbands.

Getting back to the important topic at hand, despite a few health scares, Christina is still rocking the pokies. I’m proud to say I’ve spent twenty-nine years fantasizing about her braless nipples. I’m not sure what will give out first: the perkiness of her B-cups, or my average-to-mediocre testosterone levels, but it will be a whole lot of fun to wait and see.

Christina Applegate bralessChristina Applegate braless 2Christina Applegate pokies

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Lisa Rinna Pokies for Years

It’s easy to see why we’ve made such a big deal about Lisa Rinna’s pokies over the years. To be so old, she has an amazing rack. Boobs are important, but nipples are an undiscovered treasure. Not just anybody can earn a BralessBlog A+ for nipples aesthetics. But our gal Lisa certainly qualifies.

She has been pretty quiet lately, not making a ton of appearances on the red carpet or flashing those mammajammas around on vacation.

I have absolutely no clue wtf she’s doing with the whole spray tan thing. If I had to guess, I’d say these photos were staged. Who gets a spray tan outside in a pop-up tent with a bikini on? I have personally witnessed a fitness model getting spray tanned just before a competition. They did it in a hotel room, and she was buck naked.

I would think Lisa would strip everything off, and even shave her muffburger before getting bronzed. I would be happy to do this for her. The bronzing or the shaving.

I gotta admit, the lips (on her face) are a little much. I think we sit in judgement on older gals who get plastic surgery without considering what they would look like (saggy and old) without it. Regardless, she doesn’t have to get my opinion before she gets worked on. I’ll take this opportunity to say: regardless of her age, I’d lie to work on her! lol

In the second photo, she’s holding her hands up, as if to tell me “stop you maniac, I’ve just successfully orgasmed for the thirty-third time, now please get your face out of my crotch.” Or maybe I’m wrong.

That is a might flat stomach, indicative of the fact that she trains and abstains (from eating junk food). It could also imply that she gets lipo every few months, but hey I could use a little myself. World-class pokies, Lisa; BralessBlog says to keep it up for your fan(atics).

Lisa Rinna bikini pokies 1Lisa Rinna bikini pokies 2

Update:
I think this is a recent photo, but it seems unlikely because her lips look like maybe 20% more normal? Maybe she somehow shrank them overnight or something. Regardless, I like the braless look.

Update 2:
Yeah, she’s getting old. Kind of like a stick-figure caricature of her former yummy self. But as it turns out, she still likes to stomp around braless and she kind of looks less wrinkly with a mask on…
black tshirt pokies

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Braless Wife For The Win

braless wife posed in the carYa’ll know I have a special place in my heart for amateurs. Heynow, I don’t discriminate. I give plenty of love to the Hollywoood starlets, partly because they are in the media so often and shoved in our faces to the point where its pervasive. But I always come back to the gals next door, the shoppers, the commuters, the trailerpark brides. Annnd the wives!

Sorry to be such a pervert (not really), but the perpetually braless wife drives me nutso. You’ve seen them at the store maybe, or walking down the street. What are they thinking? Are they lonely, horny, starved for attention? Let me rephrase that as a statement rather than a question.
Now the younger single gals let it all hang out too. And I love em for it. But there’s something about the naughtiness of the wife that turns my cooker up a notch.

I was at the airport the other day, and I parked in one of those long-term lots that’s just past Timbuktu. You know, where you have to walk ten minutes to the nearest kiosk and then ride a bus for fifteen minutes to the terminal. The bus was packed with people. I was sitting down, and this lady in a business suit was standing up. Let me really lay this description out for you so we can get the full extent of the perverted/psycho/stalker vibe.

She was wearing a pantsuit with a dress jacket over a blouse. But the bus driver was driving like his hair was on fire and his ass was catching, so the bus was crashing over potholes and passengers were all but getting tossed out the windows. So this lady had dropped her carry-on on the floor between her feet, and she was holding on to the upper handrail with all her might. The jacket she was wearing was hanging open, and her ponderous d-cup boobies were shoving that blouse around like two pigs in a poke. She couldn’t have been wearing a bra the way those things were jiggling around.

I was considerably mesmerized. And panting. And trying not to stare, or at least trying not to get caught staring.

braless wife at her deskShe had on a wedding band and a diamond, clearly married. Now why would a wife on a business trip go braless? Did she have a long, tiring day of travel, and slip into the tiny, stinky airplane bathroom and unsnap her bra to shove it into her carry-on? Come walking back down the aisle with the bra folded up in her pants pocket and the underwire peeking out. Ahhhh, finally, some relief. The lace had been itching her, and the wire had been poking her, and her boobs were just squeezed wrong all day.

And when she gets home, is her husband there and does he notice: D-cups and no bra? I sure would. Where do you and I sign up for a wife that hot?

Did other dudes on the bus notice? Surely. How about other gals? In my experience, girls are preternaturally aware of other girls’ boobies. And those married hoochie-mamas that don’t wear bras really tick off the uptight brawearers.

Do we have to send our wives to some kind of braless class, where they get a certificate for agreeing to bounce around in public on a bus?

braless tanktop wife

I guess this guy’s wife likes to shop. And I guess he likes to go shopping with her. Because of several reasons. Allow me to enumerate. #1 Her boobs are massive and simply cannot be contained by a mere bra. #2 Her nipples are massive and threaten to rip out of her bra and her shirt and poke someone’s eye out. #3 I just like numbering things.

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Farrah Fawcett Boob Dreams

Ok, so I know she passed away, but my musings would be considered quite a tribute by all but the most puritan of people. I don’t know why, but Farrah Fawcett crossed my mind lately. Looking through my embarrassingly lengthy archives, I haven’t mentioned her since 2006. Can that be right? Surely not…

Farrah was the stuff of dreams back when I was young. Yeah, she had great hair, and that sexy smile that said “I’m about to get naughty with you and we might get arrested.” But it was the boobs that sealed the deal.

This was before the days of implants, or at least before the days when everybody was doing it. Her girlies were perky, and natural, and just big enough to make ya cry mamma, And those nipples! Definitely deserving of an exclamation mark. She might be of the perma-pokies clan. Jennifer Anniston is president of that group. Who else could we put in there?

Did Farrah end up getting implants? I just now kinda rummaged around on the interwebz with that question, and the jury is still out. Regardless, her boobs still have an open invitation in my home.

My pubescent memories of her take me back to a time of big hair and rock bands and Fredericks of Hollywood catalogues. Was it Farrah Fawcett that was in some movies or TV shows with Lee Majors? Edit: Okay, I totall screwed that up. That’s what happens when a Greek God ages into a decrepit pervert with saturated cheetoh fat blocking his brain. I was thinking of the television show The Fall Guy, which starred Heather Thomas and Markie Post. How in the hell is it that I have never posted Markie Post? More on those gals later (yummy).

Farrah isn’t on my top ten or anything, hence the ten year hiatus from my bralessblog commentary. But dang she has a very nice overall package, and is certainly worth our attention.

Farrah Fawcett PokiesFarrah Fawcett pokiesFarrah Fawcett pokies

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